My diabetes has seriously taken a backseat lately. I’ve been busy, I’ve been sick…in general I’ve been “otherwise occupied”, not to mention preoccupied.
Obviously it’s tough to keep everything all together when things start to fall apart, but it frustrates me that my diabetes care always seems to be the first thing to go when I realize I can’t do everything.
For example, when sick my appetite is pretty limited. I basically have a few things I feel like eating and that’s it. I’m usually pretty careful with my low(ish) carb, gluten-free(ish) diet, but that all goes out the window when I’m sick. As a result, this week my bloodsugar has been generally hovering around 8.0 – 9.0 mmol/l (144 – 162 mg/dl). Not way out of control, but not ideal either.
The same goes for when I’m busy. The carb-counting and careful eating take a backseat to everything else going on, and I end up with pretty unimpressive bloodsugars.
Plus, both the busy factor and the sick factor make me more prone to forgetting things and/or failing to notice things. Failing to notice a rising bloodsugar, for example, or failing to remember that my infusion set has been in for 3 days already and needs changed before my insulin absorption goes significantly downhill. (See also: Reasons for my being 17.2 mmol ( 310 mg/dl) at 5:45 this morning.)
I know I shouldn’t beat myself up about it. Diabetes management is work. Unavoidable work. But it doesn’t mean we don’t need breaks from it, and when we’re busy and sick is when we need those breaks the most.
The thing that gets me, though, is that losing control of my diabetes – even to a small degree – makes me feel worse! When my bloodsugars are wacky I don’t feel good! And when I’m sick and busy I need to feel better! So why isn’t diabetes at the top of my priority list? If it was, wouldn’t I feel better? Wouldn’t I get better faster, or manage those busy times with more energy?
Then, of course, there’s this cruel joke: Stress and illness both throw new variables into diabetes management anyway. So now that I have less energy to devote to diabetes care, my diabetes care suddenly demands more energy from me.
Now at this point, pretend I said something pithy about diminishing returns on my efforts, and came to a grand conclusion as to why it’s okay that I let my diabetes care slide this week.
And I’ll pretend I just made myself feel better about it. 😉