1. My bloodsugar sucks these days. It’s a miserable mixture of too high and too low. Usually I’m trending one way or the other, but this time it’s both. I blame the fact that I started on a new med (non-D) recently. Hopefully once my body adjusts, my bloodsugars will settle down. I figure there’s not much point in trying to problem-solve during this adjustment period. Also, I go back to work next week (after mat leave) so my schedule will be changing drastically, as will my activity levels (I have a desk job) – another reason that trying to solve my current wacky bloodsugars seems a little futile. So I’m kind of playing the “let’s just correct when we need to” game. I don’t feel good about it, but that’s what I’m doing. Hopefully next week I can do some hard-core tracking, logging, and resolving of these issues.
2. Closely related to #1 above is the fact that my bad bloodsugars are really irritating me. Usually I can handle a less-than-ideal bloodsugar without getting too worked up, but lately I see a 9.0 mmol/l (162 mg/dl) when I’m expecting a 5.0 mmol/l (90 mg/dl) and I’m all “Come ON!!!! Seriously?!?!” (or worse). It’s just I feel like I try so hard and it’s frustrating to try so hard and still get crap results. It’s frustrating to make your best, most educated guess about that delicate balance that is diabetes management, and fail.
3. Today I bought a bikini. I was wearing a CGMS sensor when I tried them on. The saleslady didn’t ask about it. They usually do. It bothers me that, in order to wear a bikini, I either have to be willing to let my CGMS show (I always put my infusion sets out of sight) or not wear a CGMS. Even if I opt for the latter, I’ll probably still have massive red holes in my abdomen from previous sensor-trauma. But I’ve decided not to let that keep me from wearing a bikini. My low(ish) carb diet has helped me lose my baby weight (and more), and I want to show off my new tattoo!
4. I think I’m having a music crisis. I like music that really gets under my skin (in a good way) and stirs me to feel something…whatever that something may be. Lately the music that can do this seems to be dwindling. For the last few months I’ve been on a music high, listening to all kinds of new (for me) stuff, so maybe I’m just coming down off that high. Maybe everything else is just going to seem boring now. I need a music boost!
5. I was going to make a list of 5. Then I decided to just make it 4 because I kind of got stalled at 4. But then I looked back and noticed that my list was too glum and decided I wanted to end on a high note. So here it is: my little girl has learned how to give me a kiss! When I say “Give Mommy a kiss” she puts her little slobbery lips to mine and then she smiles because it makes her happy. It makes me happy too. 🙂 And there’s the high note….