Proudly, she came up to where my husband and I were sitting and annouced,

“I have a pump like Mommy’s!”

I’m happy it was all pretend.

I are still participating in the monthly 12s, even without a host, just because it’s fun!  I know Kerri is too, and I’m still hoping Mike and Scully do too….  (But even if they don’t, you should still check out their blogs!)

Anyway, on with 12 of 12 for 2012!  If you missed them, you can check out my 12 of 12 for previous months here!

1. This is the piece of banana that was leftover from my breakfast of balkan yogurt, banana and walnuts.  I know it seems like a small piece to leave, but it just would have pushed my carbs too far past my breakfast quota.  So this piece of banana sat in my office all day…getting brown.  I was going to take another picture of it later in the day, but I forgot.  It was probably for the best.  It made it back home with me, because I hate to throw away food, but eventually I gave it to the dog.

2. When I turned on my computer (at work) there was an email waiting for me from a friend who I hadn’t heard from in a while.  Coincidentally, I had just sent him a message on Facebook the night before, but it was sent after he had sent this one.  Oooh….eerie!  As you can see, he mentions 12 of 12 in his email.  I’m still hoping to see a 12 from him someday.

3.  I’ve been fighting a cold, and one of my favourite cold remedies is lemon tea.  Thank you, Sir Thomas Lipton, for helping to cure what ails me!

4.  It was new CGMS (Continuous Glucose Monitoring System) sensor day.  (Yaaaaay!)  The sensor had been inserted at home, so after the appropriate “wetting” period, I attached the transmitter.  (For those of you who don’t know, the transmitter is the white part above.  The blue part is it’s charger.)

5.  On my lunch break, I printed off a few Bingo cards for The Kid.  I figured it might be kind of fun to have her look for things around the house and put stickers on them when she found them.  The one on the left I found on a website.  The one on the right I made.  We’ve played them a few times now and it turns out she likes looking for “stuff” more than she likes looking for colours.  She’s definitely having fun with them, though!

6.  Also on my lunchbreak, I quickly popped into a nearby store for some stickers to use for the Bingo games I’d made.  While I was there I took a quick browse through the craft supplies.  I’m thinking The Kid would have fun decorating those pink tiaras.  Maybe another time…

7.  It was a very cold and very windy day.  Check out this flag flying straight out!  Brrr….

8.  This cold snap closely followed some very warm days.  Our van windows are still bearing the evidence of the warm days…especially because we ran out of windshield washer fluid.  The cold snap meant there was really no major rush to refill it (nothing splashes when it’s this cold), so we were driving around like this for a couple of days.  Ew.  (Please note that this is the edge of the windshield.  The driver’s visibility was fine – I promise!)

9.  A few weeks ago I filled out a survey about blood glucose monitors and was promised a $10 Starbucks card for my time.  Well guess what came in the mail?!  As my husband said, “Look!  It’s one-and-a-half lattés!”  Yeah yeah…  It’s not like I get them every day!

10.  Last weekend we weaned The Kid off of her soother.  She was chewing holes in them, so it was time.  It went remarkably well and we are very proud of her.  She ended up doing better with “it’s broken” than with “it’s lost”, so I “broke” it by cutting off the nipple.  She thinks the dog chewed it off.  Hey, whatever works.  She’s requested that we save the neutered binkie for her sister (who is still in my belly).  Aww….

11.  I had an appointment with my favourite esthetician, Tannis, in the evening.  She agreed to be in a photo for my 12!  I’ve got a weird face in this picture, but she looks great, so I’m putting it in anyway.  She’s the best!

12.  Last but not least, my baby belly shot for this month.  I’m just shy of 25 weeks in this picture.  I’ll have you know that I feel a lot bigger than this!

And that’s it!  Wasn’t it refreshing that this wasn’t another sick-day 12?  ;)

I answered the phone, and his assistant said this:

“Dr. Awesome [not really his name] asked me to phone and tell you that your A1C is great!”

I kid you not.

He is always carbon-copied on the results of my bloodwork for my endo, so I guess the results of the last test showed up in his office yesterday.  This busy, but terribly kind, man then took it upon himself to make sure I was congratulated.

My obstetrician is the best!

(PS – 12 of 12 should be up tomorrow sometime.  No time today.)

6.1

As I suspected, it’s crept back into the 6s from my rockin’ 5.9 (largely thanks to the Christmas holidays).  Still, not too shabby.  Not too shabby at all.

As of this past Friday, I’m now 24 weeks pregnant.  I’m definitely looking pregnant and feeling pregnant, but overall I can’t complain.

Well, I suppose I could complain about my Christmas Holiday D-control.  Christmas plus diabetes is difficult enough without an added factor like pregnancy, so this was a particularly challenging year.  For the most part I did manage to be really “good” in terms of carb-counting and even carb-moderating (which is frickin’ hard at my mother-in-laws house with about 16 varieties of homemade baked goods, plus 5 flavours of ice cream).  I was a pretty well-behaved pregnant diabetic, all things considered.  But my D-control was still far from where I would have liked it.  I’m blaming that on the following:

1. Eating “differently” than I’m used to.  Since I wasn’t preparing my own food, my meals weren’t always exactly as I would have prepared them at home, or with exactly the same options offered.  I always had really good substitutes and I brought along my food scale, but it still made for some extra variables.  Plus, we weren’t always eating at the same time as I’m used to because, well, we were on holidays!
2. A few bad infusion sites.  Badly timed bad infusion sites.  There’s really not much that can be done about that, except catching them early and changing them.  But they still suck.
3. Increasing insulin resistance as I make my way through second trimester.  Sometimes I wondered if I was pumping saline instead of insulin – especially when I’d see absolutely no bloodsugar movement after a bolus.  Come ON!  Also not much that can be done about this one, except watch my bloodsugars, find those trends, and make the changes.  But following trends was made difficult thanks to all the other variables/factors in this list.
4. Being without my trusty logging spreadsheet.  Yeah, I’ve got all the iDevices that should have let me do my logging/tracking on the road (we were travelling for almost all of our holidays), but it’s just not as easy or as handy.  Plus, with all these variables making trends virtually invisible, it didn’t seem that there was much point in the painful task of logging/tracking anyway.  So I scrapped it.  I took a log holiday.  And it felt good.
5. The sheer laziness of Christmas.  Like I said, we were travelling a lot, so we were busy around the time that we were moving from one place to the next.  But moving from one place to the next usually meant long van rides (sitting).  And when we would settle in wherever we were going, we pretty much sat around and hung out and remained generally lazy.  I ventured out in the snow a few times, but my holiday activity levels really were not conducive to good diabetes control.  This one’s at least partially my fault.

So with all those things considered, please don’t be surprised if/when my A1C  proves to have crept a little higher than my previous 5.9.  (Results to come this week.)

Now that the holidays are over, I’m seeing much better results in my re-opened diabetes logs, and finding those trends and figuring out that incoming insulin resistance.  I’m also getting into a busier schedule of doctor’s appointments.  I saw my OB and my endo last week, I have a phone appointment with my CDE this coming week (I love that she’s willing to do phone appointments!) and I have an ophthalmologist appointment on the 16th.  My OB and my endo have me on an every-3-weeks appointment cycle now, and my CDE and I usually talk every 2-3 weeks as well.  Fetal assessments start February 9th, so I still have a bit of a grace period for those.  It’s getting busier, though….

My OB appointment was last Tuesday and I received nothing but good results!  My blood pressure is still in a great range (this is the test that always makes me nervous given my previous experience with pre-eclampsia), and the baby’s heart rate was perfect.  My weight gain is exactly where it should be, even though I’m feeling massive lately.  The results of the ultrasound from a few weeks ago showed nothing of concern – my OB called them “boring”, which is good.  Out of curiosity, I asked him at what point in my last pregnancy my BP had started to increase.  He said it was around 33 weeks.  But at my endo appointment later in the week, she reminded me that she had started to notice BP increases around 28 weeks.  I have a home BP monitor this time around, so I’m already starting to keep a close eye on it.  We want to catch any changes early enough to take the necessary steps (i.e. medication, disability leave if required, etc.) to keep it under control, keep my eyes from bleeding, and keep this baby baking for as long as possible.

My endo appointment was last Thursday and went off without a hitch.  I had only brought the last four days of D-Logs (because that’s all I had logged, and because the days prior wouldn’t have been indicative of any required D-Management changes anyway), so she didn’t have much to look at, but she was happy with what she saw and with the few required changes that I had identified.  I try to be really proactive at my appointments – not exactly for her sake, but because I try to be proactive about my diabetes in general and don’t like waiting for her to tell me what to do.  I know my diabetes better than she does, and I think she and I (finally) both acknowledge that.  Anyway, it seems to be a good approach – it works.  I had an A1C test done there and will have the results early in the week, as I mentioned earlier.

In terms of the pregnancy in general, I’m feeling pretty good.  I’m tired, but not as tired as I was in the first trimester.  The nausea rarely makes a comeback unless I’m really tired (which does happen occasionally) .  The retinopathy is proving to be largely stable (a few tiny leaks here and there).  I am, however, starting to feel very heavy…like I have a bowling ball in my belly…10-pin.  It seems to depend on where the baby is sitting, but when she’s low in my abdomen I can be pretty uncomfortable, with my lower abdominal muscles straining, my digestive system cramping, and my bladder taking a beating.  This child is an active one.  My first was the same – kicking and kicking and pushing and turning and then kicking some more.  I’m at the point where I’m even seeing my belly move from time to time.  Both my husband and my daughter have had a chance to feel her move by now, and I think it’s nice for all of us to have that tangible connection with her now.  Thankfully she keeps most of her uterine gymnastics to the daytime and hasn’t been keeping me up at night…yet.

If anyone is interested, my official due date (i.e. 40 weeks) is April 27th, but my OB has indicated that he wants to do a c-section around 37 weeks.  I’d like to push him to 38 weeks, all else being equal (and I think he’s open to this, all else being equal), and since the 37 week mark is Good Friday (April 6th), I’m hoping the c-section will be sometime the week of April 9th-13th if all is still going well.  (Hopefully closer to the 13th.)  It’s hard to believe how quickly these dates are coming up.  Wow!

So that’s a (sort of) quick summary of where things are at right now.  Tune in next week for an A1C update and a 12 of 12!

Thirty years is a long time.

On December 30th, 1981, I was 3 years old.  As you can imagine, a lot has happened since then – with diabetes care in general, but also in my own life with diabetes.  Here’s just a taste:

• Blood glucose meters got a LOT smaller – and a lot faster.  I’m pretty sure my first meter took a full 2 minutes to give me a reading and was the size of about 6 of my current meters laid side-to-side.
• I went from one shot of mixed insulin per day to multiple daily injections with both short (Toronto/Regular) and long (NPH, Lente, Ultralente) acting insulins to pumping with much faster-acting insulins (NovoRapid, Apidra).
• I started using a technology that I once could only have dreamed of – a Continuous Glucose Monitoring System (CGMS).  I continue to dream of a day when this technology will function with more accuracy and consistency.
• I stopped being afraid of blood tests, then stopped being afraid of injections, then stopped being afraid of infusion site insertions – but I’m still afraid of CGMS insertions.
• I’ve developed callouses on my fingertips, and scar tissue in various parts of my body thanks to thousands upon thousands of needles piercing my skin.
• I went from eating limited carbs that were measured precisely for me, to eating whatever I wanted using the “balancing act” method with multiple daily injections and the pump, back to limiting carbs that are precisely measured by me.  Funny how this one’s come full circle.
• The girl who was embarrassed every day at 10:15 a.m. when her watch alarm went off and her grade 3 class tried to pretend not to notice her pull out her morning snack became the girl who writes on a public blog about her experiences with diabetes and who has trouble shutting up about it when asked a question.
• I’ve struggled with the social aspects of diabetes: kids who taunted me with candy I couldn’t eat, how to handle Halloween and birthday parties, testing in public, learning to manage the effects of alcohol, etc.
• I’ve been hospitalized with DKA – once.
• I’ve never lost consciousness or been unable to be in control of myself due to diabetes.
• I’ve struggled with anxiety.  A lot.
• I’ve worked So Damn Hard to figure out how to make this disease my bitch instead of the other way around.  I’m close, but it’s a never-ending challenge.
• I’ve logged hundreds (or more) of days of bloodsugar readings, insulin doses, and carb amounts.  I’ve searched for trends until my eyes hurt.  I’ve developed a serious dislike of this process.
• I got married – to a man who wants to help me succeed at this.  I also learned that my success, my diabetes care, and ultimately my quality (and length) of life extend beyond myself to the people who love me.
• I’ve brought my A1C down to levels I never would have believed I could.
• My belief that diabetes complications would never happen to me has been shattered, thanks to retinopathy.
• In spite of working So Damn Hard, I’ve still experienced blame from others, including medical professionals, for not getting it right.  I’ve also had my retinopathy blamed on my past of “too much cheating” by people who obviously don’t know what they’re talking about.
•  I’ve met some great people, both in person (Hi Mimi! Hi Krista!) and online (Hi Mike! Hi Aaron!) who I wouln’t have met if not for diabetes.  (Please don’t be offended if I omitted your name – there are just too many of you!)
• I’ve had a child – a perfect little girl who has no lasting effects of being created in the womb of an imperfect woman with diabetes.
• I’ve learned to deal with retinal haemorrhages – and the ongoing possibility of more.  I no longer lift anything very heavy, put my head lower than my heart during yoga, or blow up balloons.
• I’ve started to think a lot more about the genetics behind diabetes, and to hope I never have to learn how to manage diabetes in a child.
• I’ve made the somewhat terrifying decision (with my husband and my doctors) to have another child and am over halfway through my second (and last) pregnancy.
• I’ve spent 30 years working my ass off and doing the best that I could (can) with what I had (have) and knew (know).

Thirty years is a long time.

I’m tired.

Here’s hoping that the next 30 years include some pretty amazing leaps in technology, in knowledge and in the strength of all of us to apply both.

And maybe even a cure….?

Well folks, MeWithD is officially on Christmas Holidays.

I wish you and your families much peace, love and joy this Season.  May you be happy, healthy, warm and well-fed…and may your boluses always match your carbs perfectly.  ;)

Happy Holiday!  See you in the new year!

B.

But, with that disclaimer out of the way, I am happy to tell you what is working for me.  Here are a few of my personal strategies:

1. Moderating carbs.  I would like to say “low-carbing”, but I’ve been told by my dietitian that the recommended minimum carb intake for a pregnant woman is 175g/day.  I’m usually around there, but even a bit more sometimes, depending on how often I’ve had to correct lows.  For the carbs that I do eat, I try to keep them low glycemic index as much as possible.  Basically – avoiding those post-meal insulin spikes as much as possible.  The added benefit is that less carbs means less insulin, and less of both tends to equal less volatility in bloodsugar (I’m not as likely to go high or low if I miscalculate my bolus by 2 units as I might by 8 units – if that makes sense).  Hint 1: Quinoa is a great rice substitute that is low-carb and low GI and tastes good!  Hint 2: Adding julienned zucchini to pasta dishes bulks them up without adding more carbs.  Hint 3: Boiled or mashed potatoes have less carbs than baked or roasted.

2. Measuring carbs.  I’m pretty good at eyeballing my food, but I’ve been trying to avoid doing that as much as possible while pregnant.  I have a food scale with a database of nutritional information for most common food items, and I use it religiously.  Without it, even my great “eyeballing” can be out by 5-10g of carbs, and that’s a pretty significant difference when I’m only bolusing for 30g of carbs at a meal.  Reducing the room for error really helps.

3. Testing my bloodsugar often.  I’m already fairly obsessive about testing, but in pregnancy my obsession is bordering on extreme.  While I do try not to test if there’s no information value in doing so, if I have any suspicion that things aren’t where they should be, I test ASAP so I can correct.  It also lets me run lower overall if I know I’ll be testing frequently and am less likely to run into a surprise bad low.   Borderline obsessive testing may be a bit controversial as it’s easy to cross that line into testing when it’s not necessary or helpful, or making correction decisions too soon (which can lead to insulin-stacking or over-treating lows) – plus it’s expensive.  I’m not saying I recommend this practice…I’m only saying that the frequency (and timing) with which I test is part of what is helping me tightly manage my diabetes while pregnant.

4. Wearing a Continuous Glucose Monitoring System (CGMS).  And a pump, for that matter.  Personally, I wouldn’t do a pregnancy without a pump, but that’s just me.  I wear CGMS sensors all the time while pregnant, in spite of the high out-of-pocket cost.  And yes, I still do test frequently.  The sensors aren’t perfectly accurate, and there’s a time lag, so they don’t quite keep up with the level of management I’d like, but what they do allow is a safety net.  I can run lower knowing that the alarm will let me know if I suddenly get too low.  This is especially good at night, because I can be comfortable with pretty low levels at night (but not in hypo range), knowing that I’d be woken up if I dipped too low.  It also helps catch those unexpected highs and gives me a chance to correct them before I’ve been high for too long.  I still have highs from time to time, but generally when they happen I can catch them and correct them really quickly so that they’re very short-lived.

5. Logging results / finding trends / discussing with a Certified Diabetes Educator (CDE).  This is the biggest pain in my ass of all of them, I think.  (Not my CDE – just the process.)  I have a spreadsheet I use to track basals, boluses, bloodsugars, carbs, and any additional relevant information (e.g. activity, stress, etc.).  I log everything everyday.  I hate it, but I do it.  Then about once a week (or more often when things are changing), I take a step back and look for trends that need to be corrected.  Every two weeks I discuss them with my CDE.  These discussions don’t necessarily lead me to anything I couldn’t have come up with on my own, but they do keep me accountable and on track, so it’s definitely worth it.  (I do have a “template” version of my logging/tracking spreadsheet that I’m happy to share.  If you’re interested, feel free to email me.  Again – your mileage may vary.)

On top of these five key (for me) strategies, the other significant factor for me is that I find that the pregnancy just gives me that extra kick of motivation to take everything one step further – to eat that much more carefully, test that much more frequently, correct highs that much sooner, etc.  I may not be running an A1C of 5.9 when I’m no longer pregnant (let’s be honest – I probably won’t, especially while caring for a new baby and a young child), because it’s that added motivation that helps me get there.

So it’s a lot of work.  A LOT.  It’s not easy and I won’t for a minute pretend that it is.  But it’s 110% worth it.  :)

I’d also like to add another plug for Cheryl Alkon’s book here:  Balancing Pregnancy With Pre-Existing Diabetes – Healthy Mom, Healthy Baby.

Because my well of ideas for at-home photos is running dry after all these at-home 12s, I thought I’d try something different today.  I’m giving you a “tour” of our house.  Really, it’s not a tour of our house, but of things in our house.  Could be interesting, or could be boring, but it’s what I’ve got.  So first the 12 of 12 spiel, and then on with the tour.

12 of 12 was created by Chad Darnell (you can find his website and a bunch of 12 of 12 links here), and has bloggers worldwide taking 12 photos throughout the day on the 12th day of each month.

If you missed them, you can check out my 12 of 12 for previous months here!

1. The Kitchen:  This is our fridge.  As you can see, it has the obligatory children’s artwork on it.  The one on the bottom right is the most interesting to me.  It used to be that, when The Kid coloured, she would only colour the eyes of her colouring book characters.  Then for a brief while, this transitioned to drawing – she drew eyes.  That’s what this picture is.  She’s branched out now, but I still find it absolutely intriguing.  Then, of course, we have the finger-painting, as well as the paper dolls (which her Daddy helped her make).  Also on the fridge is our menu for the week.  With our rushed evening schedule, it’s easier to plan ahead.  You may not be able to see it, but this week’s menu includes a few “leftovers” meals, as well as one of chicken fingers and fries.  We generally eat pretty well, but it’s just that kind of week.  Oh, also there’s a fried egg on the counter.  It’s fake.

2. The Family Room / TV Room: Essentially this is the playroom.  The Kid is a bit young yet to play alone downstairs, so this is where a lot of the “hanging out” happens.  It’s a mess, so instead of a picture of the room, you’re getting a toy example, along with a short story.  This is The Kid’s first baby doll – a 1st birthday gift.  As you can see, she’s looking a little bruised.  It’s not marker or crayon or paint.  It doesn’t come off.  Our best guess (which I think is correct) is that these marks are from the purple paint on the handmade doll high-chair and crib that we got as hand-me-downs from my husband’s cousin.  They’re super cute (and were free), but all of the (toy) babies around our house are starting to look startlingly abused.  Now that The Kid is getting more and more interested in playing with her dolls, the dolls are looking worse and worse.  I think we may have to buy some new doll furniture soon.

3. The Livingroom:  This also doubles as a play room.  In fact, most of the house does.  Anyway, this year I bought The Kid her first nativity set.  This Veggie Tales one was too cute to pass up.  (For example, Baby Jesus is a baby carrot.  It doesn’t get much cuter than that!)  She loves it, and we’ve had the “privilege” of hearing the Veggie angel atop the stable singing “Away in a Manger” more times than we could have (or would have) hoped.

4. The Kid’s Room:  Surprisingly (or maybe not), this room contains fewer toys than most.  The toy pictured here is a good one, though.  It was a gift from my brother-in-law and his wife (but almost certainly the idea came from his wife).  The ladybug has coloured lights in it, and when the room is dark and you turn it on, the lights shine through the star and moon holes and make the ceiling look like the night sky.  It’s a great idea, and I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t thought of getting one for our room as well.

5. The Main Bathroom:  Yeah, you’re getting bathroom pictures.  I don’t have enough rooms in my house to skip bathrooms.  Our main floor bathroom is an interesting mixture of colours.  The walls are a sort of orangey/rusty colour, and there’s a border with green and blue in it, so I’ve had a lot of trouble finding a complementary shower curtain for this bathroom.  I finally found this one (at Zellers, so nice and cheap), that is slightly loud, but actually goes pretty well in the bathroom and makes for a fun kids’ bathroom.  And that’s the shower curtain.  (I told you this could be boring.)

6. Our Bedroom:  This is one of the few decorations up in our bedroom – my favourite of our wedding pictures.  We also have it in a larger version on our livingroom wall.  I’m wondering how long until it looks totally outdated like our parents’ wedding pictures.  (Sorry Mom. )

7. The Ensuite Bathroom: Another boring one, so I’ll make this quick.  This is my favourite of the Bath & Body Works holiday scents.  Mmmm….

8. The Front Entrance: Moving down to the basement, I was going to take a picture of the coat room (since I was trying to do this by room), but let’s just say it was a no-go.  So this is the entrance instead.  Generally speaking, I have (at least) a mild dislike of the whole “Country Charm” type of decor – at least for my own living space.  Still, this decoration ends up hanging in our entrance all winter every winter.  It just keeps coming back.  I really have no one to blame but myself, though.

9. The Rec Room:  That should be in quotes – i.e. “Rec” room.  There’s no pool table, no darts, and no bar.  Just a couch, chair, TV, bookshelf, recumbent stationary bike and some other miscellaneous stuff.  One of these miscellaneous items is our didgeridoo.  We got it as a sort of wedding gift (we actually picked it out from a gift certificate that we got as a wedding gift).  You can’t see the whole thing here, but it’s actually gorgeously hand-crafted in Indonesia and was a beautiful decoration and conversation piece in our livingroom until The Kid came along and the vast majority of beautiful decorations were put away for the next few years.  I’d love to boast being able to play it, but I just haven’t figured out circular breathing.  I seriously admire anyone who can play this instrument well.

10. The Extra room / Storage Room:  It’s actually an extra bedroom or office or something (downstairs), but it’s being used for neither.  Instead, it contains extra dining room chairs, table games, the minivan seat that we’ve removed, an orphaned twin mattress (we sometimes have a lot of out-of-town family staying over at the same time and need all the sleeping space we can get), homemade pickles, CDs/DVDs, hockey equipment, golf clubs, a high chair, and this broken coffee maker.  My husband loved this coffee maker and aspires to fix it.  So we keep it.  I really want to throw it out…but he puts up with my crap, so I put up with his too.  ;)

11.  The Guest Room:  This is where you stay if you come to visit us overnight.  It’s in the basement and our basement is cold, so we have many extra blankets for our visitors.  More than just these two.  (There was really nothing else to take a picture of in this room.)

12.  The Basement Bathroom:  Here is this month’s baby belly picture of me in the last room of our house.  You don’t get to see my face this time.

And that’s it for the tour!  Come back again sometime!

And as of Friday, the verdict is that we are having….a GIRL!  :)

That said, the ultrasound technician did qualify her assessment by saying that the umbilical cord was positioned between the baby’s legs.  She was quite sure that she didn’t see any boy parts, but she wanted us to know that, if she was wrong, it was because of the uncooperative umbilical cord.

So for now we are going forward under the assumption that we are having a girl, but we will be able to confirm that at the first fetal assessment – which isn’t scheduled yet, but which I expect to occur in mid-late January or even early February.

Obviously I would have been content with either a boy or a girl, but this does make me happy for my 2 1/2 year old daughter who is now going to have a little sister!  It also makes me happy that we can reuse so much of the baby/toddler gear and clothing from the first go-around instead of having to get a whole new batch of boy stuff.  But if the verdict changes at the fetal assessment, I’ve got a list of reasons why I’d also be happy to have a boy, so I’m good either way.

It was amazing to be able to see the little one moving around in there, looking like a healthy little baby.  Not only does it make it so much more “real” (as if the exhaustion, nausea, sore hips and growing belly didn’t), but it also is a great reminder of why I’m doing all this hard work to manage my diabetes right now.  It’s that extra kick of motivation to keep at it for the sake of this tiny, wiggly, growing person who is 100% dependent on me and my ability to care for us.

I can do it.